HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE A TEACHER? By Jeff Foxworthy

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I walked into the copy room and this was sitting on a table with the words: “This is a must READ :)”.

I agree, and I think it is also a “Must SHARE!” I Googled it and realized it has been around for years, but I got a laugh out of most of them!:)

  1. You get a secret thrill out of laminating things.
  2. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
  3. You walk into a store and hear the words, “It’s Ms./Mr. ____________ and know you have been spotted.
  4. You have 25 people who  accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
  5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under 25 minutes.
  6. You’ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day, lunch and planning period.
  7. You start saving other people’s trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
  8. You believe the Teacher’s Lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
  9. You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off”.
  10. You believe chocolate is a food group.
  11. You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
  12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, the kids are sure mellow today.”
  13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
  14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
  15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
  16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
  17. You can’t pass the school supply aisle without getting at least 5 items!
  18. You ask your friends to use their words and explain if the left hand turn he made was a “good choice” or “bad choice.”
  19. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.
  20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.
  21. You understand, instantaneously, why a child behaves in a certain way after meeting his/her parents.
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67 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Virginia on October 22, 2011 at 12:10 am

    I believe #11 should read “You can tell it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.”

    Oh, and I would also add “You have an almost compulsive need to correct other people’s grammar, spelling, etc.”

    Reply

  2. Posted by michele Scott on October 22, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    This is so funny because it is soooo true! :)

    Reply

  3. Reposting (with attribution). I love Jeff Foxworthy!

    Reply

  4. Posted by Allison on November 22, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    I absolutely love this!! very true and will re pin!

    Reply

  5. Posted by Seth harrington on November 23, 2011 at 6:19 am

    You write out your check to…….good job and sign it with a smiley face!

    Reply

  6. Posted by jamescedgar@gmail.com on November 24, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    And despite all of that we have terrific teachers! Thank you.

    Reply

  7. love this……………..will also leave a copy in the Teacher’s lounge!

    Reply

  8. Posted by Charlotte on November 28, 2011 at 6:51 pm

    As a retired teacher for several years, I read them and said, “Oh, right! I remember that! So true.” It all comes back in a flash.

    Reply

  9. Posted by Mimi Piercy on December 1, 2011 at 3:44 am

    How about, “Before we leave, has everyone been to the restroom?”

    Reply

  10. Posted by Mary Scott Young on December 2, 2011 at 6:26 pm

    The best years of my life!

    Reply

  11. [...] returned to the site after I posted , “How Do You Know You’re a Teacher? by Jeff Foxworthy and it ended up pinned, pinned, and repinned, my pinterest was piqued.  The number of people who [...]

    Reply

  12. Posted by Tyla on December 6, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    Ok I def. Got a kick out of #’s 7, 13, and 21! And I will repost, and leave a copy in the teachers lounge!

    Reply

  13. Posted by Velvet mcreynolds on December 10, 2011 at 11:26 pm

    I think 10 should read— chocolate, gummy bears, and chili Cheetos are food groups…

    Reply

  14. Posted by Carol on December 28, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    Love it totally agree!!!

    Reply

  15. Posted by Carrie Ledvina on January 11, 2012 at 9:01 pm

    Guess what? You don’t need to be a teacher to have the need to correct grammar and spelling errors. I’ve had to do it FOR teachers!!

    Reply

    • Posted by Sara on January 15, 2012 at 12:28 am

      Me too!! And even correct one who was teaching the incorrect rotation of our solar system…she had 20 years experience : (

      Reply

      • Posted by M on March 4, 2012 at 10:58 am

        Yes, I guess we’re all perfect. I’m sure you never make a mistake at your job, either.

  16. Posted by Tanisha Clark on January 12, 2012 at 11:36 pm

    I could not have said it better myself. ;)

    Reply

  17. Posted by Michele on January 13, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    Priceless!

    Reply

  18. As a retired teacher this list is ON Target.

    Reply

  19. Posted by Cindy Testino on January 14, 2012 at 11:36 pm

    I have been teaching for 11 years now……most of this is SOOOOOO TRUE!!!!!!

    Reply

  20. Posted by Marilyn Barnes on January 16, 2012 at 10:34 am

    WHO has 25 minutes for lunch???!!!

    Reply

    • Posted by Michelle Tolbert on July 8, 2012 at 8:48 pm

      Thinking the same, factor taking your much needed bathsoom break, stopping at the mailbox to pick up the notes that need to go home, stopping by to let your co workers know there is a last minute meeting after school, etc….. maybe you drink your Mountain Dew while you walk.

      Reply

  21. You are a teacher when you pass the trash can, clean the chalk board, and clap the erasors on the outside wall after your last class!!! You are a teacher when after payday the next day you are looking for your next one.. You are a teacher when a student is affraid to go to the principal or knows he or she will be in more trouble when they go home. REtired teacher Fred Carpenter

    Reply

  22. Posted by noemi flores aguilar on January 19, 2012 at 11:09 pm

    Im not a teacher, but I think must of this is so true¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡

    Reply

  23. Posted by Monette on January 23, 2012 at 10:24 am

    This list is wonderful and I believe true on many levels. As a mom (and my daughter’s first teacher), I certainly see how and why this list was created. I plan to add a copy of it to the teacher appreciation gifts for my daughter’s teachers. I know they will get a kick out of it.

    Reply

  24. This list is so right on. . #20 is sort of a new commer. We were not using sanitizer 13 years ago like they do today. I wonder if Foxworthy was a teacher!!!

    Reply

  25. This is priceless!! So true on every level….apple and the tree…full moon…correcting people..I drive my husband crazy! And don’t we all love our 7-3 with summers off??? Yup, it’s a wonderful life…let them try those shoes on.

    Reply

  26. Posted by Diane Weathernoltz on February 5, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    So true! Especially the last one!

    Reply

  27. [...] You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form. HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE A TEACHER? By Jeff Foxworthy « Diary of a Public School Teacher! [...]

    Reply

  28. [...] HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE A TEACHER? By Jeff Foxworthy « Diary of a Public School Teacher! You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form. [...]

    Reply

  29. The humor comes from the truth of it all!

    Reply

  30. Posted by Mary on March 13, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    I would add that “Children obey you when you give them a look — even when they aren’t your students!”

    Reply

  31. OMG!!! As a former public school teacher,looking at this list is humorous,however it makes my PSTD go in to over-load!!!!! I was a teacher for almost 24 years before I had
    to leave mid-year after being diagnosed with MS,and had to retire. I had many good,memorable years of teaching. However,the last few were rough. I think a few things need to be added to that list,however.

    1. Teachers at every school should have available to them a phycologist to council to
    as needed…..Maybe even a psychologist if there is a lot of stress…..to hand out Rx’s
    such as antidepressents(just a thought)!!!
    2. Every teacher deserves a MENTAL HEALTH DAY!!!!!! ideally a Mon. Or a Fri……
    As to have a long week-end. Teachers are stressed,and should be allowed a
    “mental Health Day” at least once a month!!
    3. Be allowed to have a given number of days off each year,and not have to give a
    reason as to why you won’t be in that day. If you use all of your days for just a day
    off,then you will have to “pay” when you are sick and need a sick day. Teachers
    are given a lot of responsibality,therefore should be responsible enough to know
    When they need a day off!!! (without having to explain or feel guilty when you call
    to say that you won’t be in that day,even if you have to be responsible enough to
    get your own substitute)!!!!

    I am retired now,and for those of you who teach our public school children,THANK-YOU!!!! We have grandchildren who are in school now. They have had wonderful
    teachers who have helped and inspired them along the way,and that they will never forget. For the many years that I taught,I hope that I was one of those teachers to at
    least most of my students.

    Oh,and by the way,when you are in the store and see one of your former students and
    You hear “Oh,you taught my grandson or grand-daughter in your class last year, THEN
    YOU KNOW IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO RETIRE!!! . LOL!!!!

    Myrna Teel

    Reply

  32. Posted by KEVIN on April 17, 2012 at 7:35 am

    THIS IS SO TRUE EVERY LAST 21 OF THEM!!!

    Reply

  33. OMG. I’m not even gonna say how much this describes me!! Frightening!! Especially the school supple aisle. I even go to teacher stores when I travel on vacation!

    Reply

  34. I don’t remember a day when I went out and was not spotted,be it a beach or a restaurant or a mall:):(

    Reply

  35. Posted by Esther Garvett on June 8, 2012 at 9:38 pm

    I love this!!!

    Reply

  36. Posted by Krista on July 6, 2012 at 10:37 am

    Worst time I was spotted was at a birthday party, while nursing my baby–the poor kid just came up and asked to see my baby, pulled the blanket off before I could stop her…
    But the majority of these made me laugh out loud, and #16 is one of the reasons I left teaching!

    Reply

  37. Posted by Jennifer on July 6, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    #19 should read: You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils (that you didn’t have to sharpen!).

    Reply

  38. Posted by Marissa on July 6, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    Funny

    Reply

  39. Posted by Edith Glavtcheff on July 6, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    You know you are a teacher when…”You have 35 min. prep time and feels like 10″

    Reply

  40. Posted by Mrs. Lee on July 6, 2012 at 6:39 pm

    Should have another one about teachers having more homework each night than the students!

    Reply

  41. Loved this! I need to share with all my teacher friends.

    Reply

  42. Posted by Darlene & Jess on July 8, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    I am a Teaching Assistant at a private school working with kindergarten. The teacher that I work with is with me reading this and all we can do is laugh. As stressful as it can be it is also the most rewarding job I have ever had. There is nothing like watching these little babies start the beginning of the year and at the end they have changed so much. They become little people. Thank you to everyone out there who truly appreciates EVERYTHING we do.

    Reply

  43. Posted by Heather vandermolen on September 3, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    My family would be so happy if I worked 7 to 3 and had “summers off”. God bless my tolerant husband and wonderful children who are “teacher orphans”. I worked hard to be a good mom and wife but I put just as much love into my teaching and that is a lot of stress not only for a teacher but for their families too. This is a great list that made me laugh at myself many times over. Thanks JF!

    Reply

  44. Posted by Joan Underwood on October 7, 2012 at 7:46 pm

    This is so hilarious, and yet so true! I am a retired first grade teacher. I loved teaching but spent way too much money and way too much time planning, preparing, and investing myself into the future of each and every one of “my kids” (students). I worked so many hours during and after school, as well as on weekends, that it robbed me of much time with my own family. I suppose I would do it all over again because I do love kids and felt so rewarded by their love and growth as they learned to read and write and soak in so much knowledge :) It seems that I have passed on the “teacher genes” not only to one of the assistants that worked for me (and caught the “bug”) but also to both of my own kids, as well as my granddaughter. She is studying to follow in our footsteps (even after seeing what we have gone through), but I am proud that she also will love those kids and undeniably make a positive difference in their lives, which is really what’s important! God bless all of you caring teachers out there!

    Reply

  45. Posted by Marie on October 22, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    Add…you have requested that the water cooler be replaced with a vodka cooler.

    Reply

  46. I was a substitute teacher at a high school a few years and this hit home for me. Great post! http://www.dennardmitchell.com/programs.html

    Reply

  47. Posted by JazGalaxy on December 23, 2012 at 4:11 am

    Can we just put out there that this is CLEARLY not written by Jeff Foxworthy? His name obviously got attached to add legitimacy to the humor of it but it was clearly written by someone who is a teacher and, while I can’t prove it, I’d say written by a woman.

    It’s also not particularly funny to anyone who ISN’T a teacher, so… another reason it’s not Foxworthy…

    Reply

  48. So true, all over the world (I’m french) !

    Reply

  49. Oh, yes. As a kindergarten teacher, I would add. “you find yourself bending to tie other people’s shoes.” I actually asked a man in a check out line once if he needed help tying his shoe.

    Reply

  50. Posted by jen on January 18, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    The worst for me is #13 when I do this in my own children’s school.

    Reply

  51. Posted by Paulette Hallman on April 14, 2013 at 8:24 pm

    As for #4, you know you’ve really been teaching a looong time when the kids accidentally call you not Mom but MawMaw!
    2nd grade in SC

    Reply

  52. Posted by Awilda on April 27, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    Number 1, 9, 10, 13, & 17 Definitely Me!!!!

    Reply

  53. Posted by Ginger on June 10, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    All so very true — except I WISH I had only 25 kids! Try 42!

    Reply

  54. Posted by Paulette Hallman on December 28, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    You know you’re a teacher when you wake up Christmas morning worrying that all your students are having a happy Christmas morning too.

    Reply

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