I hate standardized testing. I hate what standardized testing has done to teaching. SMH This is what it has driven me to!
1. A guy goes in for a job as a bubble filler.
He lets the boss know how he meets the requirements for the job.
“I can fill in bubbles really well. “
” I’ve been taking standardized tests since I was in kindergarten.”
“I make sure the circle is filled in, no white showing, and no stray marks.”
The boss says, “You sound like just the person we need!”
The guy reaches over to shake the bosses’ hand, “I think this is going to work out just great!”
The boss pulls his hand back, “Did you say think?” “I’m sorry, we can’t use you.”
2. Bunch of guys sitting in an office.
“We have a huge order of scantron forms that need filling in!”
“OMG, how are we going to fill that order?!”
They put their heads together.
A woman shouts, “I got it!”, and picks up the phone.
The person answers on the other side, “Hello, Dumbdown Elementary, how can I help you?”
3. A principal walks into a classroom unannounced.
The students quickly try to stuff their lined paper in their desks.
He looks at the teacher. “What’s going on here Ms.Cannolongerteach?”
She stammers, “The kids wanted to see what it was like to use lined paper, they were tired of using grid paper or scantron forms.”
Kid starts crying. “Ms.Cannolongerteach was just giving us a break, Mr.Bringthescoresup! She didn’t mean any harm!”
“I’m sorry kids, but Ms. Cannolongerteach knew the rules. Pack your stuff and come with me Ms.Cannolongerteach.”
4.The students in the new teacher’s class, Mr.Icannolongerbecreative’s ,eagerly turn on their laptops.
“Okay everyone, we are going to create a video about WWII. Please go to the Photopeach site.”
As students click on the site, bells begin to sound on each laptop.
“Warning! Warning!” Creative learning taking place! Creative Learning taking place!”
School security bursts into the room.
Mr.Icannolongerbecreative stands pale and shaken.
“What’s going on?”, he shouts.
They put handcuffs on and drag him out.
“These laptops are for test-taking skills only!”, they yell vehemently.
“I didn’t know!”, he yells as they drag him down the hall, “I didn’t know!”