Once upon a time there was a little 2nd grade boy. He was new to a school, and he brought with him, all his problems and issues. Sent to live with dad after mom “couldn’t take it any more”, a pre-primer reading level, an evil stepmother, and siblings who did not like him, he didn’t stand a chance.
After a couple of weeks, it became apparent that this child was a “problem”. Inappropriate language, bullying, no work, etc…His teacher (not me) knew this, but she also realized that he came from a place of trouble. So, instead of scolding him constantly, she decided to love him. Instead of throwing up her hands in despair, she found ways to get him the help he needed. And most of all, she loved him, and he knew it. He was disciplined, and he had consequences, but, she loved him nonetheless.
While she struggled to help him, “they” began to plan how they would get him out of their school. They had his teacher attend meetings, and asked her about his aggressive nature. She refused to go along with their program, and forced them to help him, instead of making him “someone else’s problem.” And he changed. Little by little, he changed. By the end of the year, he wasn’t a brand new child, but he wasn’t the child that had entered that school. And as difficult as it was, his teacher made a decision to retain him because he wasn’t ready.
Fast forward. His dad is in jail for a while, so he has no buffer between himself, stepmom, and siblings. But saddest of all, he has no place to be loved. His new teacher sees him as a problem. She recounts stories of how she disciplines his every little transgression to his former teacher with relish. Where is her humanity? She resents the fact that every morning, yes, every morning, he visits his former teacher. Where else can he get love? Where else can he have someone listen to his stories of a life that would be difficult for most adults? Unfortunately, I have no idea how this story ends, maybe his former teacher is enough to buffer the negativity in his life, and allow him to change for the better, maybe not.
I think of those two words Angela Maiers promotes, “You Matter.” I am blessed, I know I matter. I have many people in my lives who let me know that. Others are not so fortunate, especially our students. We have to remember that we may be the only good thing that happens to them all day. We have to care. Sometimes we have to overlook their negatives and try to find a positive. We have to let them know they matter.
DIARY OF A PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHER 
Comments on: "“What’s Love Got to do with It?” Ask Your Students!" (4)
Perhaps this little boy’s new teacher needs to see Angela’s You Matter video. So glad his first teacher was his champion. I’m sure he will look back someday and remember the person in school who understood. New teacher needs to be his champion too. Every child has a story…does anyone think he wants to be in the situation he’s in?
This is a good reminder to us all that we also need to provide a safe, nurturing environment in our classrooms.
This speaks to me because I have had several students like this in my career. They are amazing children once we allow them to be. Thanks for writing this and reminding us all how we must treat the kids no one else wants.
Thank you so much for writing this. As a teacher trainer, I try to help my participants understand that their job isn’t only to transmit knowledge, but more importantly, to connect with their students. Although this can be a challenge, when your heart and intention is in the right place, any type of problem can be translated into a desperate attempt at reaching out for love. When anyone “acts up”, adult or child, this is because they want attention. If I have the chance, I hope to share this post with my participants. Thank you.
Thank you all for your thoughts. Novice or veteran, I think we all need a reminder that they are children and they can “go through some things”. We have to remember that they are children(although sometimes it’s hard), and that they can be a victim of their circumstances.