“They Did Not Choose Their Parents”

These words were spoken at the 2011 PLC Summit I attended in Arizona last week.  “They didn’t choose their genetic pool”. “They couldn’t say I want two college-educated parents who love me, care for me, and make education my priority.”  

 I realized after hearing this statement,  that many times, I get frustrated with my students  about things over which they have no control.  When they come to school without school supplies,  their parent doesn’t sign a form,or  misses a scheduled appointment, or has made the child stay home to babysit, again.  These are things that the student can not control, but yet, year after year, my frustration is placed on a  child, who is probably just as frustrated as I am!  How many times has the child walked in the day after parent-teacher conferences, and I’ve said, “Your mother scheduled an appointment and didn’t come”  The child stands there wide-eyed, not knowing how to reply. Maybe they know why, maybe they don’t,but  that’s not the issue.

We need to work around the parents who are not supportive, the ones who just don’t have the time.  We need to tell our children, “You do you.”  “You do what you need to do to succeed.”  Let’s not hold them accountable for the mistakes, or neglect, of their parents and guardians.  Let’s not make them bear the weight of their parents’ transgressions.  Why say to a child who is late every day, “You’re late again.” Knowing  the only way the child can get to school is if their parent drives them.

So, I’m taking a new outlook, and it began yesterday.  I have a student who is out every Monday.   I would fuss at him every Tuesday about the work he had to make up or didn’t understand.

 “Well”, I would say sternly, you need to be here on Mondays.”

 He was in school yesterday and instead of a  “Glad you could make it”, I smiled and said, “I am so glad that you are able to be here today.”  A smile lit up his face and he said, sincerely, “So, am I.” The next time he’s out, I will work with him and help him catch up. Am I a” bad” teacher? I don’t think so, but I’m certainly not the best I can be. I’m learning though, and I’m willing to take a good, hard, look in the mirror, and correct my mistakes.

Advertisement

“Thin Line”

The other day a fifth grade student came in with a green bracelet with the words “I Love Boobies” on his wrist. The teacher asked him to remove it, he asked her why. She explained that it was inappropriate for the class and made him remove it.  The next day, he came in with it on again, she told him to remove it. He said, “My mother called the principal and he said I could wear it.” He wore it the entire day making sure he showed off his arm as often as he could.  When the teacher went to complain to the principal, he told her that because it was Breast Cancer Awareness Month, it was a thin line that he would cross by asking the child not to wear it. Needless to say, the teacher was very,very upset. This parent, and the principal, not only undermined the teacher’s authority, but also gave this child, who is already insufferable, carte blanche to go to mommy and go over his teacher’s head! Wow! A thin line?  His bracelet didn’t mention Breast Cancer Awareness, it said “boobies.” He was showing it off to the boys in his class. And the parent? Her time will come when she can no longer deal with the monster she has created! They want to tie our pay to the students, when we’re not allowed to make decisions in our own classrooms? Please!

A Little Understanding Goes a Long Way…

One of my students lost her aunt two days ago. I met her aunt August 17, she was one of the “aunts” I spoke of in an earlier blog. She isn’t the one I spoke to about my student, because she was too busy dealing with her energetic 6 year old boy.  She came in the room , introduced herself and her son, and excitedly informed me he would be starting kindergarten tomorrow. As a mom myself, I know that feeling, I experienced it twice. My student came back to school today, and she seems ok, I don’t know how her cousin is doing, a six year old boy who lost his mom unexpectedly, starting kindergarten. I hugged my student when she walked in the door, knowing we’re not supposed to hug,but, having just lost my Dad on the 12th of August, I knew she needed it.  I will be  cognizant of my student and her feelings, and hopefully her cousin’s teacher will too. As teachers, we have to understand that on a daily basis some of  our students’ face challenges we can’t begin to comprehend, and although we may not want the responsibility, we have to teach them and comfort them as well.